Skyscraper
by WordsAreABeautifulWeapon
Summary: As Quinn loses the perfect life she always wanted she struggles to find ways to cope; the results are questionable. No one was there for her before, will someone be there for her now? Finished.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters, nor do I own the song Skyscraper which inspired this fan fic. Skyscraper is by Demi Lovato  
>Warning: This story involves very detailed self-harm scenes<strong>

Gone. It was all gone. She worked so hard to build up this perfect life, and piece by piece it shattered. As one thing broke, she'd find another, but with each new wonderful thing a retching heart break was sure to follow.

_**Glee!**_

It started with getting pregnant and losing Finn Hudson. But she had Noah Puckerman, Puck, so that wasn't unbearable. But then she lost Beth, her and Puck's perfect baby girl. It did feel like a loss at first, it was the best decision at the time, and Puck loved her. But then Puck went to juvie, and there was nothing she could do about that.

After that there was Sam Evans. She didn't love Sam, she knew that, but she liked him a lot. He filled a void she hadn't even realized she had. But then Finn wanted her, and she never really got over the loss of him. Because of that she lost Sam, without realizing how much it hurt her.

Finn was back though. He was hers again, which surely meant her perfect life was back. She could even be named Prom Queen to complete that perfection, it was a guarantee. Until Lucy Caboosy came back; the horrible ugly person she used to be came back to haunt her, even though she had worked so hard to get away from that. Who could love her like that?

So it only made sense when she lost Prom Queen, but she'd never understand how Kurt Hummel won. She still had Finn though, at least for a while. But then she lost him to Rachel Berry, little miss perfect. Rachel was taking the one thing she had left, and she didn't even want it; the stuck up bitch rejected Finn at first. With the loss of Finn, Quinn Fabray finally snapped.

When she snapped she gained a new sort of perfection, she became a Skank. If she couldn't be the perfect innocent girl in the school, she'd be the perfect badass. She wouldn't care about anyone or anything. But then she saw Beth, beautiful baby Beth, and reconnected with the horrible woman who took Beth away from her.

Beth was the one thing she did right. Beth was perfect; Beth was Quinn's way to perfection. She wanted to hold her, to love her, to show off her perfection to the world, but Shelby Corcoran wouldn't let Quinn come near Beth until she dropped the new look.

So she lost her new look in hopes of gaining her baby back. She hoped Puck would help her, but instead of helping her he fell for the enemy. That's when she realized she had lost everything; there was nothing and no one left.

_**Glee!**_

"Quinn wait," she heard Puck say after she stormed out of the choir room in the middle of Santana's performance of Constant Craving. She would give him one chance to redeem himself, because she needed him, whether she wanted to admit that or not.

"What could you possibly have to tell me now? Did you sleep with any other women who were twice your age or just the bitch who took our baby?" she said to him.

"Where are you going? You're not telling Figgins about Shelby and me, are you? That would get her fired and then she won't have a job or proper finances to support Beth. Don't sabotage your own child's future," Puck said, with sweat beading at his brow. He was nervous, and Quinn could sense it.

"Don't you dare pull that on me! You and Shelby are wrong Puck; she's too old for you and a teacher for god's sakes! And if she loses her job, well that'd just make it easier for me to get Beth back."

"Would you just drop that Quinn! I thought I knocked some sense into that foolish head of yours but I guess not. You aren't getting Beth back, it's not happening. You're going to get the hell out of Lima and go make something of yourself and live a perfect little life," Puck practically screamed, while trying to turn Quinn away from the principal's office.

"Why don't you go back to the choir room and worry about your ancient girlfriend and just leave me alone," she said, and fled to the girl's bathroom.

_**Glee!**_

She was alone in the bathroom, thankfully. She reached into her purse and found the cold piece of metal she had left in the bottom. She'd heard of girls doing it before, girls who were broken and desperate like she was. She didn't understand how making yourself bleed and bringing yourself more pain could ever help, but she couldn't think of anything else. So she locked herself in the second stall and took a deep breath.

"Quick like a band-aid," Quinn said to herself as she slashed the broken razor bit across her wrist. Then she felt it; she felt the release she'd needed. Everything she had lost control of in her life didn't matter anymore, because she controlled this. She sat for a moment and enjoyed the different and new pain she was feeling, the emotional pain seeped away with the beads of blood she wiped off with a tissue.

She stayed in that stall for an hour, cutting perfect little marks into her wrist every ten minutes or so, becoming familiar with the cold metal causing a harsh sting and her warm blood rushing to the injured skin, ready to clot and stop the possibility of her death. She could control that too; it was her decision if she went too far, or if she kept the cuts tiny.

_**Glee!**_

It was 4:00pm when she finally unlocked the stall door. She went to the sink and washed her hands, wrist, and razor blade. She pulled a few bracelets out of her purse and delicately covered her now red and raw wrist. Before she left she caught herself in the mirror, her short blonde hair straightened and framing her face, glowing with the sense of control she had regained. Her life was hers again.

She walked out to her car absent mindedly thumbing her torn up left wrist. Puck had said she had problems, he didn't know the half of it. Quinn sung to herself as she drove home, singing a song that just a few days ago Kurt and Blaine had sung to Santana; they didn't realize they had picked the wrong imperfect girl.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters, nor do I own the song Skyscraper which inspired this fan fic. Skyscraper is by Demi Lovato  
>Warning: This story involves very detailed self-harm scenes<strong>

Quinn was finally able to go through her days smiling. The closer to the end of the day, the bigger the smile, because she knew it was only a short time before she could go home and decide whether or not to add to the beautiful collection of crimson scars on her wrist.

"Hey Quinn, thanks," Puck said to her when she walked into glee club Monday after school. "For keeping my secret and all. Um, you seem to be doing a little bit better."

"I am, I'm doing great," Quinn replied. He didn't question why.

"Glad to hear it. I'm going to Shelby's tonight, want me to send you a picture of Beth?"

"No thanks." Quinn said curtly. Did he have to rub his relationship with that bitch in her face? If she couldn't have the baby and she couldn't have Puck, she would have preferred not to hear anything about them.

"Quinn, I was hoping you'd come sit by me today," came a female voice from behind Quinn. She turned to see Rachel sitting protectively on Finn's lap. Did everyone just want to rub it in her face that she was a failure at relationships? Oh well, she could grin and bear it; she sat in the empty chair on Rachel's left.

"Alright guys, the lesson this week is mistakes. We've all made a lot of them and we've all grown and matured from them," said the overly excited Spanish teacher. "I want you all to find a song about growing from mistakes that are personal to you."

"Mr. Schue, I don't think there is a song like that for me," the annoying brunette on Quinn's right said.

"Rachel as much as you may hate to admit it, you're not perfect. You've made mistakes," Kurt informed her. Rachel seemed to take this news offensively.

"That's not what I meant! I meant that "

"Oh my god would you just shut up already!" Quinn was surprised to realize those harsh words came from her own mouth. This was too much. She got up and ran to the bathroom, not expecting anyone to follow her.

_**Glee!**_

Quinn had just locked herself in the second bathroom stall when she heard a voice.

"Quinn? Are you okay?" Rachel's voice was too gentle for someone who Quinn had just snapped at. How did she manage to stay perfectly calm no matter what Quinn did to her? She wasn't even angry when Quinn had slapped her at prom.

Quinn didn't answer. What would she say to a girl who basically just claimed perfection while sitting on the lap of a boy she had stolen from Quinn not only once, but twice? She pulled out a tissue and wiped away the tears she hadn't realized were falling down her cheeks and then blew her nose and left the stall.

"You were crying," it was a statement- not a question- that came out of Rachel's mouth, so Quinn didn't respond. "You know the last time we were in this bathroom you slapped me. You can do that again if you need too, although I'm not really sure what I did wrong this time. I wasn't trying to say I never made mistakes, I was trying to say I didn't know of a song that talked about learning from the kind of mistakes I've made."

With that Quinn felt guilty. She hadn't meant to yell at Rachel, she wasn't really mad at Rachel. She was mad at herself, and Puck, and Finn, and the other group members who never noticed when she was breaking down. But if she apologized now she knew she'd say more than she wanted to. So instead she mumbled that she had to leave and bumped into Rachel as she bolted out of the bathroom, trying to think of somewhere else to release the anger building up inside her on the pale skin of her overly damaged wrist.

_**Glee!**_

Quinn left glee club early, they wouldn't miss her anyways. After her exchange with Rachel in the bathroom she drove to the nearest accessory store and bought oversized bracelets in every color available. She knew that soon she'd have to move to her currently clean wrist, and she better have enough bands to make it look like she was just accessorizing. Then she drove home and blockaded herself in her bedroom.

As she glided the thin blade across her skin she thought about how people would react if they found out. They wouldn't get it, but then again someone who had never cut wouldn't understand why someone would. She thought back to before she did the first time, a mere sixteen days ago. It felt like a habit she'd been doing for ever, and it certainly looked like she had been doing for years. Before she put the blade on her skin that first day, she didn't know why someone would do it either, but now she could appreciate it. It kept her sane, and in control. When she couldn't cut fresh wounds, thumbing her old scars calmed her enough, feeling the perfect little clots of blood.

Perfect. She remembered what caused her to run to that bathroom stall in the first place. She remembered the song, first sung to Santana by Kurt and Blaine and then sung by herself in the car. She knew she wasn't perfect to anyone, which is what fueled her next cut. She slid up the sleeve on her clean, innocent, right wrist and put the blade to it.

"P-E-R-F-E-C-T" she said each letter as she carved it. She had just finished the tiny T when her phone buzzed.

"Quinn what the fuck was that outburst in class? I get that you're jealous of what Shelby and I have, and jealous Shelby has Beth, but you don't need to flip out at Rachel because she's Shelby's real daughter," Puck's voice came through the receiver as soon as she answered the phone.

"What are you talking about? I don't give a shit what you do with Shelby and I didn't mean to yell at Rachel. Why can't you just leave me be? I'm happy, stop ruining that," Quinn said while staring and the word as the pooling blood made it harder to read. Puck started to talk again but she hung up and turned off her phone. This was her time.

Note: This is chapter 2 out of 4, I will put up 2 tomorrow and four the next day. This is my first fanfic so I would love to hear your thoughts!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters, nor do I own the song Skyscraper which inspired this fan fic. Skyscraper is by Demi Lovato  
>Warning: This story involves very detailed self-harm scenes<strong>

Quinn was dreading glee club the next day. She knew she'd have to apologize to the group for her outburst, which she was fine with, but she didn't want them to ask questions. But she wanted to avoid Puck as best as she could. She sat in math pretending to pay attention while calculating when it would be safe to cut again.

_**Glee!**_

She didn't have to wait until the end of the day to see Puck though, in fact she saw him right before Spanish. He didn't see her though, he was too busy macking on the woman who had ruined Quinn's life one too many times. Shelby and Puck were hooking up in Shelby's office, apparently ignorant of the fact that it had windows. Quinn ran to the bathroom, unaware of the fact that she ran into Rachel on her way there.

_**Glee!**_

She hadn't counted the marks she made. She stopped trying to keep them symmetrical and perfect. She stopped paying attention to time or whether or not people were in the bathroom. She just sat on the floor, watching herself bleed. She began to get light headed, and then she heard her name.

"Quinn? Quinn are you okay? Where are you?" Rachel sounded worried. What did she already know? Did Quinn have enough energy to cover herself before Rachel found her? Did she care anymore? She didn't have time to think about any of those things before she blacked out.

_**Glee!**_

Rachel saw Quinn's head fall to the floor, just under the stall door. Quinn must have been leaning against the locked door when she passed out, and there was blood all over her. The tiny brunette used all the strength she had to break the aged lock and pull the door open. She gasped when she saw the blade still balanced on Quinn's fingertips. She paused a moment to look at all the marks, all the injuries Quinn had given herself, and then she ran as fast as she could to get help.

_**Glee!**_

The next thing she knew, Quinn was waking up in an unfamiliar room. She was on someone's couch and there were a lot of voices in the other room. What had happened? Oh yeah, she passed out in the bathroom and Rachel found her. But where was she now? And what were they going to do? Was she in trouble? How many people knew?

"Quinn, you're awake," the all too familiar voice said. Rachel came in carrying some water and a few pills. "You're in my house, in case you were wondering. I figured you'd want to deal with this your own way so the only people who know are Emma and some paramedics. I needed help to get you here and make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine. Can I leave?" Quinn was anxious to get away from them. She could deal with everything her own way; she just messed up a little.

"Quinn you have a problem. Cutting isn't a solution, you could have died. I have a few painkillers for your head, the paramedics said you hit it hard, and they also have an anti-depressant they want you to take when you're ready."

"I don't need medicine Rachel," but just then Quinn felt a shooting pain in the back of her head. She took the painkillers and laid down. "I don't have a problem. You wouldn't understand."

"I've considered it before too. Last year when Finn and I broke up, I felt lost and desperate. The only thing that stopped me was how upset Finn would be if he found out he had caused it," Rachel said with her eyes glazed over. Quinn looked at her and thought maybe, just maybe, she understands a little. "I couldn't get Finn back, my life felt out of control. I wanted to control something."

"I don't know what to do anymore Rachel, I have nothing left," Quinn broke down, and Rachel held her while she cried. She never gave Rachel any reason to be so kind, yet she was. The least Quinn could do was accept the help Rachel was trying to give her.

Note: This is chapter 3 out of 4, I will put up 4 tomorrow and four the next day. This is my first fanfic so I would love to hear your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters, nor do I own the song Skyscraper which inspired this fan fic. Skyscraper is by Demi Lovato and the lyrics are in italics in this chapter!  
>Warning: This story involves very detailed self-harm scenes<strong>

On Wednesday Quinn saw a psychiatrist for the first time. Thursday morning she started an anti-depressant, and made an appointment to see a therapist. She understood now that cutting was unhealthy, and that she felt the need to do it more frequently and go deeper each time, so she wasn't really controlling anything. Cutting didn't equal perfection. On Friday she thanked Rachel in the only way she could.

"Mr. Schue, I have a song I'd like to do for this week's lesson," Quinn said during glee club Friday afternoon.

"We were hoping you would Quinn, the floor's all yours," Will Schuester replied.

"I would like to dedicate it to Rachel, because without her I never would have learned from my mistakes, I would have just kept making them."

_Skies are crying, I am watching  
>Catching tear drops in my hands<br>Only silence, as it's ending  
>Like we never had a chance<br>Do you have to make me feel like  
>There's nothing left of me?<em>

_You can take everything I have  
>You can break everything I am<br>Like I'm made of glass  
>Like I'm made of paper<br>Go on and try to tear me down  
>I will be rising from the ground<br>Like a skyscraper  
>Like a skyscraper<em>

_As the smoke clears, I awaken  
>And untangle you from me<br>Would it make you, feel better  
>To watch me while I bleed?<br>All my windows still are broken  
>But I'm standing on my feet<em>

_You can take everything I have  
>You can break everything I am<br>Like I'm made of glass  
>Like I'm made of paper<br>Go on and try to tear me down  
>I will be rising from the ground<br>Like a skyscraper  
>Like a skyscraper<em>

_Go run, run, run  
>I'm gonna stay right here, watch you disappear<br>Yeah oh  
>Go run, run, run<br>Yeah, it's a long way down  
>But I am closer to the clouds up here<em>

_You can take everything I have  
>You can break everything I am<br>Like I'm made of glass  
>Like I'm made of paper<br>Oh Oh  
>Go on and try to tear me down<br>I will be rising from the ground  
>Like a skyscraper<br>Like a skyscraper_

_(Like a skyscraper)  
>Like a skyscraper<br>Like a skyscraper_

The entire room applauded as Quinn wiped the tears from her eyes at the end of the song. The group got up to hug her, led by Rachel, and while engulfed in a circle of "I love yous" and "I'm sorrys" Quinn knew that she was going to be okay, and she could be perfect to these people, her friends, if she'd let herself.

Note: This was the first fanfic I've ever written, so critiques and suggestions would be great! I wrote this because in my opinion it was a great storyline for Quinn, so let me know what you guys think!


End file.
